I Wouldn’t Be Married Without Depression

So I just saw this movie called, “The Silver Lining Playbook” and first of all, it was awesome. It had to do with two people who had some “issues” falling in love. I’m sure some of you at this point know where this is going…Please excuse the corniness that is to ensue.

Many people don’t know this, but one of the first “real conversations” my now wife and I had was about depression. Its one of those topics very taboo so it took us about 2 years of knowing each other before it ever came up. After 2 years of trying to figure out if we even liked each other, I guess we just got very comfortable talking to eachother. It became very natural, which was a huge plus for both of us, because we both don’t know how to act when we like someone. The fact we didn’t know if we liked each other or not, definitely played to our advantage in this case

At the time of this conversation I was living in the basement of a house I was sharing with three other roommates. I can still hear my Dad saying, “Make sure you check it for Radon”… I digress… at the time of the conversation I had already been 2 very strong years into my fight with depression. I think I always struggled with depression, but after becoming a Christian I didn’t have any of my usual vices to go to. After I became a Christian I no longer had those familiar escapes (smoking, drinking, fighting, ect) so I really had to figure out how to deal with the sadness of it all. God really led me through this time and helped me to be humble enough to get some help and at the time of our conversation, I was very far along in my understanding of the illness and even managing it well myself.

La Micia started to tell me about how she had been feeling. The fact she always felt tired, she wasn’t feeling motivated to do anything, and had been feeling very down and immediately I could relate. I didn’t know if any of this meant that she struggled with depression, but her being vulnerable about how she was feeling allowed me to open up about my personal struggles with depression. It was a very healthy conversation and it didn’t get too emotional or anything, but we both walked away feeling like, “wow, he/she really understands me.” Later on, it turned out that La Micia did struggle with depression and God had put us two broken people together to give him glory.

Without this conversation, I don’t think La Micia and I would have ever gotten to the point of marriage. We were both already not overly enthusiastic about the other, and things weren’t really going anywhere between us prior to this conversation. I can genuinely say that after this conversation, I felt differently for La Micia. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but it felt like we had known each other since we were kids or something. Its one of those things that’s hard to explain, but lets just say God had this written in his “divine playbook”.

When we sit back and look at some of the awesome things we have been able to be a part of, we can’t take pride in our abilities because it is all God working through us.

-Pat

Advertisements