Discontent with your marriage?

I am just going to write, and I don’t really know if I will post this because it’s very vulnerable. Like most things that we are embarrassed to talk about, I am sure many out there can relate and perhaps be encouraged that they are not alone. I have a “grass is greener” mentality when it comes to just about everything including my marriage and this is the number one thing that has robbed me of my contentment in my marriage and it honestly has nothing to do with my wife.

Truth be told, my wife is beautiful, spiritual, ambitious, and family oriented. My wife allows me to lead our marriage and she trusts my decision making, I know she respects me and she is everything I asked God for. She is really the complete package, any mans dream to have and God has blessed me with her.  I hate how Satan will try and get me to think any different.

I know there are many out there who can relate to the struggle of “the grass is greener” somewhere else. I believe this is why marriages are plagued with divorce, strife, and bitter envy. We can see other couples and think, “wow they are way better than us, they really have it all together.” A lack of contentment in our marriages is what we must be on our guard against. As the apostle Paul said, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

The truth is, we are able to be content in our marriages no matter the state it might be in…

I hate how any argument, any beef, any little pet peeve or dispute and Satan is right there, isn’t he? He is right there lying telling me the grass is greener somewhere else.  It only lasts for a second, maybe even less than that before I get it out of my head. It’s like a subtle suggestion Satan makes. I love how Solomon exposes this lie in proverbs chapter seven when he is talking about an adulteress women who has lost contentment in her marriage and is chasing her fantasies and whims.

“Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death” (Proverbs 7: 24-27)

All of the promise of that one moment of pleasure does not deliver and it leaves everyone involved in a fatal position.  This proverb I believe is insight into anyone chasing fantasies and lacking contentment. Contentment does not exist outside of our marriages, if we are discontent with our current marriage, we will eventually be discontent with our “next fling” because contentment does not have anything to do with the person we are married to, it has to do with our inability to see the lie, that the grass is greener somewhere else. If we chase after our fantasy, we will never be content, because we are only chasing a ghost and like the proverb says we should not let our heart entertain such thoughts.

“He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty” (Proverbs 28:19)

If we take care of our marriages, invest in our marriages, love even when we don’t feel loved, if we “work our own land” without looking at everyone else’s land, we will have “abundant food”, we will be more than satisfied. Contentment is right in front of me every single day, it is my decision to be content with what God has given me or listen to Satan’s lies that the grass is greener. I choose God, I choose my wife.

Are you content in your marriage?

-Patrick

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