Working on your marriage can feel hard and as people we can de-prioritize things pretty easily, but fighting for a healthy marriage and conquering new obstacles is worth it!
The following are my thoughts on this based on personal realizations so its more of a guys point of view. Hope you enjoy!
“We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals, and we find no real satisfaction or happiness in life without obstacles to conquer and goals to achieve.”
I believe that people and for the sake of this article, guys are natural born conquerors. We need to feel like we are accomplishing something, tackling some obstacle, that we are dominating in our respective fields. If you’re a woman, you may have asked yourself, “why does my man get so obsessed with his work, the gym, this sport, this hobby and forget about US?!” In my opinion, we guys go after the areas in life where we can feel like conquerors, the areas of most reward. You might have noticed this in your boyfriend when you were dating and he was pursuing you. I’m sure he went after you like a Knight conquering a castle, didn’t he? and now you’re asking, “where is that dude at? He disappeared on me!” You may at this point be asking yourself, “well why doesn’t a guy find our relationship rewarding? Why doesn’t he continue to conquer new terrain in our relationship?”
Great question! I’m not sure i have the whole answer, but here are some thoughts.
In my opinion, for us guys, we need to constantly be reminded by God, by people in our lives, and by ourselves of two things:
1.That there are still many battles to conquer and marriage was not the end, but just the beginning.
2.That it is very Rewarding.
If you’re a guy reading this and you need to be reminded, here are some reminders about why you have to keep conquering, keep prioritizing, and keep this fighter spirit in your relationship or marriage.
Some of the “reward” factors of continued effort:
- Less depression and fewer problems with substance abuse in happy marriages.
- Lower Mortality Risk
- Being married increases the likelihood of affluence
- Married men make more money
- Happier marriage=better sleep
- Lower stress levels
- Getting married increases the probability of moving out of a poor neighborhood
- Higher chance of recovering from major surgery
It appears that having a healthy marriage essentially makes you superman.
Why we need to be conquering and fighting; what we are up against:
If we have an unhealthy marriage:
- Greater risk for coronary heart disease
- Poor mental health
- Decrease immune system
- Slower disease recovery
- Kids can develop unhealthy perfectionism, anxiety issues, mood problems, social dysfunction, and mitigating trauma
Having an unhealthy marriage apparently is Kryptonite.
Knowing all of this, doesn’t it make sense that Satan is working overtime to destroy marriages and healthy relationships?
I hope this article helps to open our eyes to the need to continue to conquer in our relationships as men.
One piece of advice for the women out there who maybe feel that their man needs to fight harder in the relationship: Pray for him and make him feel like superman and really believe in him and watch what happens. In my experience, when my wife believes in me and is praying for me it changes me, makes me want to be better, and is VERY rewarding.
Please all lets hold each other accountable and strive to make marriage a priority.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”– Mark 10:9
Allan V. Horwitz, Helene R. White, and Sandra Howell-White,“Becoming Married and Mental Health: A Longitudinal Study of a Cohort of Young Adults,” Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 58(November 1996), pp. 895–907.
Stephanie A. Bond Huie, Robert A. Hummer, and Richard G. Rogers,“Individual and Contextual Risks of Death among Race and Ethnic Groups in the United States,” Journal of Health and Social Behavior,Vol. 43 (2002), pp. 359–381.
Thomas A. Hirschl, Joyce Altobelli, and Mark R. Rank, “Does Marriage Increase the Odds of Affluence? Exploring the Life Course Probabilities,” Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 65, No. 4(November 2003), pp. 927–938.
Kate Antonovics and Robert Town, “Are All the Good Men Married? Uncovering the Sources of the Marital Wage Premium,” American Economic Review, Vol. 94 (May 2004), pp. 317–321.
Scott J. South and Kyle D. Crowder, “Escaping Distressed Neighborhoods: Individual, Community, and Metropolitan Influences,” American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 102, No. 4 (January1997), pp. 1040–1084.
According to a 1993 article in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine