By: Patrick Genova
Just recently I have heard many moving accounts of people who battle with things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, ect. Carson Daily, DeMar DeRozan, Kevin Love, and Kelly Oubre Jr. are a few of the people who i have read recently be open about their battles and it inspired me to write about it.
My wife and I have been very open about our journey with this and the stigmas associated with it as well as how challenging it is. As a believer who has battled to figure out, “what in the world is wrong with me?!” I used to feel a lot of hopelessness and anger towards myself. I was angry that I didn’t seem to have the ability to enjoy life the way I see so many others doing, angry that I didn’t have the built in coping mechanisms others have, hopeless that if this doesn’t change I wont be able to be everything I can be for God. Whats so crazy is that fast forward to now and I am actually fearful that God will make me “normal” or at least my idea of “normal”. I have come to love and appreciate my “weaknesses” and in fact I believe they are the best things that ever happened to me. Consider the following passage:
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10)
Like Paul, I have pleaded with God to take it all away from me. To take away all my anxiety, depression, ect… I came to realize that without these things I would be worse not better for God. These “weaknesses” are how God is glorified and if through my weaknesses God’s name is exalted there is nothing more I could want. The best part of it all is that through my weaknesses I have been able to understand grace in a very powerful way. I can see God work through me despite all my shortcomings and its a constant reminder to myself that its not me, but God working through me.
The journey is not over, we are still learning more and more about the way we are built and the way God made us, but I know that when I am weak that is when I am at my best.
If your struggling with any kind of emotional turmoil please be open, get help, and pray. Its too difficult to go through it all alone. I am only able to write these realizations after years of fighting to not give up, getting help, and fighting to understand what God was doing through it all.
I hope this is helpful.